Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
40s are totally the cure
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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