oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
