i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Randomize
