Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
