No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
