you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
