All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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