threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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