I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
