It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
