Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you didnt know i had herpes?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
