so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
