So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i drank out of a bidet.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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