i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
