:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
