In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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