Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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