I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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