I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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