Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
