You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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