Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
