Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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