If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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