As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
