mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
