Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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