This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
