I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
