Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
His nipple licking is glorious
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