She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
birth control should be required to get into college
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
