stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You're a waste of cheezeits
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
