ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
