she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
