Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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