Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
