9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
