I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
