Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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