nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I am midnight drunk by noon
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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