there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
