Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
