I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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