His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
