what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
