just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
