We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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