You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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