I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
