I only kidnapped one of them. chill
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
