I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
