Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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